For those in need of something to read

I promised Joe I would do this.
So, for the record, fresh baked cookies a la mode with lemonade chaser?
AWESOME!
Thanks for that amazing homework Mr. Duran.
Now, anyway, to the promised entertainment!
"So, there are these two prawns swimming in the ocean; one named Justin, and one named Christian. They are constantly terrorised by sharks, as sharks tend to terrorize ocean dwellers. Anywho, one day they're swimming around, and Justin turns to Christian and says,"I'm so sick of being terrorised by sharks. They seem to have it so easy. I wish I was a shark."
Right then, a magical cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted! You are now a shark!"
Lo and behold, Justin is transformed into a shark. Of course, Christian is quite naturally terrified, and swims away as fast as he can. So Justin enjoys himself for a while, being the biggest fish in the sea and whatnot (even bigger than the other sharks!) but eventually he grows lonely. All his old friends are scared of him, of course. So one day, he sees the cod again! Glory Be! He can't believe his luck. He goes up to the cod, and he says, "Please, can you turn me back into a prawn? I'm so lonely..." The cod nods! And, lo and Behold! The cod turns him back into a prawn!
Delighted, Justin calls a big party and has cocktails with all his shrimp friends. But he notices something at the party... His friend Christian is missing.
"Where's Christian?" he asks around.
Finally, someone brings up what happened, "He thinks this is all a trick, he's locked up at home!"
Shocked, Justin runs off, finally getting to Christian's house. He knocks furiously on Christian's door, and yelling,"Please, come out and talk, I've changed back!"
and Christian yells out "No! You're a shark! I won't fall for this!"
Justin's reply:
"No! That was the old me! I've changed! I found cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!" "
instantrimshot.com
So, a man walks up to a woman at a geography convention. He says to her "Hey baby, your latitude is good. Wanna see what happens when it meets my longitude?"
*cricket sounds*
[DISTRICT 9 SPOILER!]
"So, District 9. A government agent, a wacko mercenary, and a prawn walk into a bar... two prawns walk out."

Okay, I'm done.